Obstacles to Hearing God

Hello, God.

Hello, Nathanael.

Now that we’ve established the basics of how we "hear" you in listening prayer, I want to talk about the possibility that we may not hear you very well – or at all – when we get started with our listening prayer project. So I thought we might talk about some of the obstacles we might experience and how to address them.

Yes. If that happens – and it might! – a person’s experience of listening prayer could be quite disappointing and could cause a person to consider discontinuing their personal listening prayer project.

I can strongly relate to these feelings of disappointment and temptation to quit since I’ve been struggling to hear you about this very topic. This is my eighth or ninth attempt at this entry over the course of three months. Whatever few things I have been able to imagine you saying have felt inauthentic and unsatisfactory. I’m definitely frustrated and am having, “Why am I doing this” thoughts.

Your current response and experience with this entry is a perfect example of what a person might experience with listening prayer at any time, but especially when they are getting started.

So…are these feelings of discouragement and frustration with listening prayer avoidable?

Not avoidable, but discussing why hearing my words can be difficult will help to diminish the strength of the disappointment and frustration.

Can we talk about those reasons, then?

Of course.

Where should we start?

With fear. One of the commonly experienced obstactles to hearing me will be your fear of hearing the wrong thing from me.

How would that fear interfere with hearing you?

It’s actually the self-imposed solution to your fear that causes the interference. To address this fear of mishearing me, individuals will often engage an “internal editor” to actively filter out the words that are not from me.

That doesn’t sound so bad…

If the filter accurately identified my words vs not-my words, then yes, that would not be so bad. But, all too often, the internal editor is inaccurate and rejects my words. Think of Peter’s vision of the unclean animals and how he tells me “No” during that vision (Acts 10:12-29). Or think of Ananias who initially refuses to accept my instruction to heal Paul after Paul was struck blind during his conversion period (Acts 9:10-17). In both of these cases, the listener disagreed with my words, but they still heard the words. The words were not blocked by an internal editor. It is best to (potentially) incorrectly hear my messages and then clarify what was heard rather than not hear my messages at all. But an “internal editor” who is afraid of mishearing me will interfere with such a process.

I think I’m starting to understand. This internal editor tends to be too cautious and too restrictive. While filtering out the “bad stuff," the internal editor also rejects the "good stuff," too.

Yes, that's a good summary of what happens.

But as you were explaining that situation, I think there's a second fear that might work in tandem with the fear of mishearing you. I think many of us are uncomfortable with this idea of "arguing with you." But a real discussion will often involve the stating of opposing viewpoints, right? So, is it okay to disagree with you in listening prayer?

Of course you may disagree with me.

And you won't curse us for it or do some other vindictive thing?

Not at all! I will not be offended by your opposing thoughts and opinions. Consciously considering different possibilities before choosing the one you want to make into reality is an amazing part of your design. And, I want to be part of that process for you. However, I do hope you will choose to disagree with me in a way that invites response from me so that we can continue discussing the topic. In the same way an internal editor might block my words while addressing a fear of mishearing me, it might also block my words when trying to avoid compelling counterarguments.

What do you mean by that?

Sometimes you will really want to hear a certain thing from me. But because I’m not agreeing with you, then that internal editor won't let you hear the words I am actually sharing with you.

Ah, I see. Sadly, that is an obstacle I personally engage with quite often. As you talk about these "internal editors," I’m realizing (even moreso) why the uncertainty prayer principle is so important to listening prayer. If we accept that there is an inherent uncertainty about what we hear in listening prayer, then that allows us to imperfectly hear your words and question them for clarity. I'm starting to see how this is far better than “not hearing you at all” or “only hearing what we want to hear.”

Yes! Accepting the uncertainty prayer principle removes the need of an internal editor which then increases your likelihood of hearing more of my words. But remember: After you hear from me uncertainly, you have to listen again and again and again as a way to identify and confirm which words are from me and not from me. This process can take time – as you, Nathanael, are experiencing first-hand with this particular listening prayer entry.

We've covered a lot of ground with a number of moving parts. I'd like to pause and review. Here's what I'm hearing: Some of us may want to hear you while simultaneously being afraid of misunderstanding you. To "solve" this fear, our solution is to unconsiously or subconsciously apply an internal editor that then filters any words that are not your words. But this solution can be too effective by also stopping your actual words from being heard or considered. Instead of an internal editor, you are suggesting that we embrace the uncertainty prayer principle and uncertainly hear words that may or may not be from you. Then, in response to those words that we uncertainly heard, we should ask questions and maybe even disagree with them, but in a way that encourages more responses from you. And then we repeat the process. Am I understanding that correctly?

Yes, that's it! If you are struggling to hear from me, it might be because you are too worried about hearing the wrong thing. By hearing me with uncertainty, you allow more words and ideas to be considered. But then, you have to be willing to question me about what you're hearing.

Are all of the obstacles to hearing you so complicated?

Let's find out! Another reason why you may struggle to hear me is because internally, you may not feel like you are worthy to hear me. How a person thinks of me or how they think of themselves can lead to a perspective that I am too busy or too important to respond to them.

I’ve heard people say that they think their problems are too small for you and that you have more important things to deal with. Is that the type of perspective you are referring to?

Yes, that is one way that a feeling of unworthiness can manifest itself in a person. This feeling can cause someone to not share with me because they think what they have to share is "not important."

That sounds like another internal editor. But instead of stopping words from getting in, this internal editor stops words from getting out.

Yes, that is a good way to describe it.

So, what should we do if this feeling is true for us?

The first thing to do is to remember the most important thing about listening prayer: I, God, want to hear from you AND I want you to hear from me. I want to talk to you as much as you are willing to hear from me.

The second thing is to know that this feeling of unworthiness is not the truth about me or you. And since it is not true, the thing to do is to rebuke this feeling of unworthiness that tells you that I am too important for you and that you are too unimportant for me.

Rebuke it!? Isn’t that, like, some old school religion?

It is – but it also works! To rebuke means to speak against. To speak against this feeling of unworthiness, say out-loud, “Feeling of unworthiness, I rebuke you and your influence. I am made to hear God’s words. You have no authority to stop me from hearing God.”

That's…that’s something. I feel like some feeling of self-consciousness might stop some folks from doing this.

Yes, it might feel embarassing to do this. However, this is meant to be a private thing. Do this at home by yourself and not at, say, the office or on a bus. While you might feel embarassed, no one is meant to witness you. So why not try it?

I think I am starting to understand this. For example, let's say I find a time and a private place to participate in my listening prayer project. I sit down, but then the few things I can think to share with you, I immediately think, "No, that's not good enough to share with God. God isn't going to care about that." At that point, then, I have nothing to say and I'm stuck. Is that the experience of feeling unworthy?

Yes.

And when I find myself stuck like that, you're suggesting I rebuke this feeling of unworthiness by "speaking against it," but not in a loud enough way to scare the kids?

Exactly! And once you've spoken against that feeling, then act against that feeling by choosing to share those first ideas you thought to share with me before you dismissed them as unworthy topics.

There is this oddness about listening prayer, isn’t there? As you talk about this process, I’m reminded of Moses taking off his sandals before speaking to you (in the burning bush story). I guess we have to trust that there are actions we can do to improve the experience (like taking off our sandals), but simultaneously, those actions seem kind of awkward and uncomforable (as in: it's probably more comfortable to keep something between one's feet and the hot desert ground).

That is a great analogy to describe the teamwork experience of listening prayer. Remember, I want to talk to each and every one of you. I am speaking to you, but there are adjustments you may have to make in order to hear my words and those adjustments may feel awkward to you, especially at first.

Do those two obstacles (fear of mishearing you and fear of being unworthy of your time/attention) plus some general awkwardness (even if it is in private) sufficiently capture the listening prayer struggle? I hope so, because that seems like plenty.

No, there is at least one other main obstacle you may experience when trying to hear me.

What is it?

The topics that you choose to speak with me can make it difficult for you to hear a response from me.

The topics we choose … why would the topics we talk to you about affect our ability to hear you?

Since I speak through your imagination, my communication is limited by what you can imagine. For example, a few sessions of listening prayer where you ask questions about geology will not result in answers that will make you a geologist – unless you are already a geologist.

Oh, I see what you’re saying. Listening prayer isn’t like the internet, where we search for information and then download it to our hard drive.

Yes, that’s a good way to say it. Instead, listening prayer is often about clearer insight about something you already know. The best topic to focus on, then, is what you know the best: You.

Everyone should talk to you about me?!

Funny, Nathanael, but also incorrect. I'm encouraging each person to talk with me about their self.

What’s the best way to do that? How does someone talk to you about their self?

The best way to talk to me about yourself might be surprising: Talk to me about your feelings.

About my feelings?

Yes, your feelings.

You’re saying I should just say, “Hi God, I’m feeling sad today”?

That would be a fantastic start to a listening prayer session! Then, follow that statement with a question about that feeling. Ask me why I think you might be feeling sad today.

Okay...God, why am I feeling sad today?

Because it was a hard day, like a lot of days are for you, but you no longer have the same level of support from other people that you used to have. You are feeling the usual stress, but now you feel it more than you previously did because you are missing those people and the support they used to provide you. By noticing that lack of support, you are reminded of the relationships you relied on and have lost during these past couple of years. You miss how your life was.

Oof. This isn’t fun.

No, it isn’t fun. But now you can tell me what you miss. Grieve. Invite me into that grief by telling me about what you are missing.

Does this mean I shouldn’t tell you about events in my day or the problems I’m facing or the issues people I care about are dealing with?

I do want you to tell me about all those things! But then, also tell me about your feelings about those things, too.

I’m not sure I’m clear about why talking to you about my feelings helps me to hear your words...

Since you hear me through your imagination, you can only hear what you can imagine. If you do not know much about geology, then you can’t imagine all that much about geology. But you do know a lot about yourself and therefore you are able to imagine quite a few words from me about you due to your existing knowledge about you. "You" are a subject that both you and I know well.

Ah, ok. I think I’m starting to get it, now. You are saying that we are limited by what we can hear because of our own limited knowledge. You can only talk to us using the ideas and words that we already know or can surmise based on what we already know. Because of that limitation, you are encouraging us to talk to you about the things that we know the most about because our imagination is better “supported” (so to speak) in those areas of knowledge. And, the thing we know the most about is our own life and self; in essence, we know more about our self than anyone else does.

Yes, you are the foremost authority of the topic that is “you.”

So, once we’re making the topic of the listening prayer session about ourselves by sharing our feelings about the day’s events, what kind of response should we be expecting from you?

Typically, words of encouragement, support, and sympathy will be the first words you’ll hear from me when you share your feelings about your day’s events with me. I am your #1 fan and I always want you to know it. But, also, there will often be words of summary – almost as if crafted from a distance – to help you consider your feelings from similar events in the past and how those past experiences are intertwining with and informing your experience of the current events. Also, a corrective suggestion or the revealing of previously unconsidered solutions may occur on occasion, too.

You know, as you explain how we are best able to hear you, it sounds like the bulk of the listening prayer experience is about you helping us to process how we moved through our day and how we might better move through the next day.

Yes, that is often what listening prayer is about: You.

Doesn’t that seem kind of … selfish?

You say that like it is a problem. Is it a problem for listening prayer to be about you?

Well, I think a lot of us think we are meant to pray mostly for other people. You know, “Help so-and-so to heal” and “Help such-and-such politician be a better leader,” etc. The approach and topic you are suggesting is very different than what many of us are used to, I think. That difference between what you are suggesting and what we think we're supposed to pray about might make it feel like we’re doing this listening prayer thing incorrectly.

What you are articulating is a different version of that “unworthy” feeling. Rebuke it. It does reflect who you are to me. Here is a very important truth about me and you: Each and every one of you is worthy to speak to me about you and to hear my words about you.

Right -- got it! That unworthy feeling sure is pervasive – and sneaky.

One other thing to keep in mind, if you find yourself really struggling with this selfish/selfishness perspective about prayer: Remember that no person is an island.

What do you mean?

As I help you process the day and see ways to better understand and approach your daily events, I’m not just helping you. There are people who are around you who are experiencing these same daily events. As you learn to see those daily events differently, you can then choose to respond differently to those daily events in ways that positively impact you and those around you.

For example?

For example, let’s pretend that you’ve been talking about a certain situation at work in a number of listening prayer sessions. As you’ve processed that situation in prayer with me, you start to see some of the underlying issues. You make some adjustments which lead to an improved experience for you and others. In this way, you’ve addressed something for yourself that also (positively) affected your co-workers. Additionally, when you arrive home after work, you are less stressed and can be more attentive (and patient!) to the people you care about the most – which they will appreciate, too.

Obviously that is a very generic example, but I see what you are saying. In listening prayer, you help us to better see ourselves and our situations. And, that insight helps us to better navigate our situations (should we choose to adjust) which can be a gift to others as well as ourselves.

Yes.

But it all begins by talking to you about our feelings?

“It all begins” might be an overstatement, but yes, talking to me about your feelings is a strongly recommended starting point to be able to better hear me in listening prayer.

Maybe that’s a good way to wrap this entry up, then…by talking about my feelings?

Yes, that would be a suitable conclusion.

When I first started this entry, I thought the topic would be “Expectations about listening prayer.” Then, as that fell apart (because your responses were quite unsatisfactory, in my opinion), I shifted to “Advantages of listening prayer.” That didn’t work, either. Eventually, in my own prayer journaling, I told you I was stuck, frustrated, and ready to quit. “Why aren't you cooperating, God,” was my complaint.

At that point, there was a back-and-forth with you about what I was trying to accomplish. Eventually, it occurred to me that your lack of cooperation was not the issue. The issue was that I had an “internal editor” who was very adamant that you could only comment about the topics I wanted to talk about. Because of that internal editor, I could not initially hear what you were actually saying.

This has been a frustrating entry to write. But as I near the end of it, I can see how this is a better topic than what I was initially wanting to write about.

Your frustration with writing this entry can be a friendly reminder that anyone who practices listening prayer will have moments where they struggle to hear me, no matter how much they've practiced listening for me.

Yeah, that’s a good point. I guess I'm a perfect example of someone needing that reminder. It is ironic, I suppose, how my own experience with writing this entry has mirrored the eventual topic of the entry.

Thank you for keeping at it, Nathanael. And to everyone else that is keeping at it, thank you, too. Remember, I want to talk to you. If you keep trying and keep listening, it will happen. And hopefully the approaches shared in this entry will help each of you better navigate the obstacles to hearing me that you are or have been experiencing.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Nathanael.