While I have personal experience with listening prayer practice and have previously produced teaching resources about you (see rfour.org and chaosandthekingdom.com), I am having a bit of a "Moses at the burning bush" moment as I get started with these resources. My repeating internal question at this moment is, “Isn't there someone better suited to do this than me?”
While it may very well be true that there are people better suited to do this than you, why would that exclude you? Is there only one author in the world? Is there only one athlete per sport in the world? Is there only one soda in the world? No, of course not. Even if there were many people who were doing this, why should that mean that you should not? Should there be only one person who shares my voice through written listening prayers?
OK, that’s a good point. I guess what I’m really saying is that I don’t necessarily feel worthy. I mean, there’s definitely some hesitation I’m feeling about the idea. So, before I do/write/publish anything else, I’m thinking it would be good to confirm that this voice I am hearing is actually you, God. So: Is this you, God?
Maybe.
Really, God!? That’s what you’re giving me -- a maybe?
I take it you wanted a definitive “yes.”
Or a definitive “No.” Granted, that would’ve made this a much shorter project:
“Is this God?” “No.” The end
So, why do you say the voice I am hearing is “maybe” you?
Because that’s how listening to me works – there is an element of uncertainty to it. There are a number of reasons for this.
Why is that? Why is uncertainty part of listening to you?
One reason is because I’m too big for just one person to fully understand. Think of that line from Genesis, that says, "humankind was made in the image of God" (Genesis 1:26-27). One of the reminders in that line is that one person cannot fully contain the image of me. Instead, humans fully contain the image of me.
And by image – you are including our individual ability to hear you as something that does not contain the fullness of you?
Yes. Fully knowing me and understanding me is not an individual experience, but a team event. The fullness of me can only be known among a multitude of you. The more diverse the experience and perspective of that multitude, the more of me each of you will be able to hear and see.
This is why I am prompting you to post on a website about listening prayer instead of writing a book. And, I want you to keep posting written prayers as ongoing reminders and examples to others to keep listening – to the extent that they might even send their listening prayers to you to post on this site. And if they do, you can start thinking about how to share those multiple individual hearings of my voice. Right now, you are a soloist. But the hope is to create a chorus, whose rich and complex melodies will reveal more and more of me.
But, if I can’t hear or capture all of your voice on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t do it?
No. Do not let perfection be the enemy of a very important and individual spiritual practice. It is true that you are not hearing all of my voice. It is true that you are not getting the full picture. But in no way does that mean you should stop. If a TV show has unmade episodes in a season, does that mean you won’t watch any episode of that show, even from a previous season? If a football season is only mid-way through, does that mean you will not watch any games from that season? These situations might dissuade others from watching, but not you. So, yes, listen and share what you hear. At the same time, it’s important for you and others to remember that you are not always hearing the fullness of my voice.
OK, I think I sort of understand. Whatever I hear from you may not be the complete story. Therefore, it is important to have others in my listening prayer faith community check-in with you about the same topic or at least reflect on what I think I heard from you and therefore shared online.
Yes.
So that’s one reason why I should have some uncertainty about what I’m hearing from you -- due to my own finite limitations. But you mentioned there were many reasons?
Another reason to be uncertain about what you hear from me is related to the first reason. Not only do you hear an incomplete version of my voice, but you also hear me through the filter that is you. This “filter of you” contains many other voices. Those other voices influence and even interfere with how you understand my voice.
When you say my filter “contains many other voices,” are you calling me schizophrenic? I suspect you are not, so what do you mean by the "many other voices" I am hearing?
All of you hear a multitude of voices in your head. For example, you have internalized certain phrases by your parents or other family members. There are also the voices of teachers and friends in your mind, sometimes it is a tone they’ve used with you, but sometimes it is a specific phrase. And then there is your own voice – the one you use to talk to yourself in your mind. That voice is pretty hard on you, Nathanael. It’s not a forgiving voice, that’s for sure. And, it’s not my voice, either.
That voice of "you" as well as the voices that are loudest in your mind influence how you hear my voice. For example, Nathanael, you tend to hear my voice in a harsher tone than I am actually using with you. And, you are quick (almost eager) to find the negativity in my comments. Reread the above and notice how quick you are to question if there’s any value to listening to my voice as an individual.
I’m not sure that’s fair! I was pretty excited about this idea and then you’re like, “this might not even be God that you are hearing.” Now, you are saying that I’m predisposed to mishearing you. And now it sounds like you’re saying that all of us are predisposed to mishearing you!?
Yes, each of you are predisposed to mishearing me in your own way. And I'm telling you this because learning about something includes the setting of expectations of the results. Remember that somewhat odd parable Jesus tells about how a king must know as much as possible about the cost of war before deciding to go to war (Luke 14:28-32)? That parable applies here, too: It is important to know what you are getting into with listening prayer.
Listening prayer carries the inherent risk that you will not clearly hear me. But as long as you are aware of this risk and others are, too, then the danger of being overly confident of hearing me will be avoided. And, if you share the words you hear from my voice, even with your own voices mixed into the message, then that gives others a chance to interpret my responses through their own filters. And sometimes, those filters can cancel each other out – which is another reminder for why a diversity of experience and perspective is helpful.
So I can’t hear all of your voice as an individual and the things I can hear from you have signal noise from my own voices and personality tendencies?
Yes.
Those seem like pretty big obstacles. Dare I ask if there are any other reasons why the voice I’m hearing might not be you?
Yes, there are more reasons.
Like?
You have beliefs that block ideas and understandings that I want to share with you. There may be concepts or beliefs that you think are true that will keep you from being able to entertain, much less accept, certain ideas I would share with you if I could. Sometimes you have to unlearn something or let go of something before you can hear the new thing from me.
Any examples to highlight what you mean?
I’ll use the example of Peter’s vision from Acts 10:1-29. If Peter had not “unlearned” his culture’s rules about what made a person clean and unclean, then Peter never would have allowed himself to visit the home of Cornelius, a Roman. But, because of the prayerful vision Peter had before receiving Cornelius invitation, he was able to unlearn what he believed was clean and unclean. However, that was a difficult lesson for Peter. He argues with me within the vision and later on in Acts, he struggles with that lesson again when he and Paul argue over who can receive the good news. The belief Peter held about what made a person clean or unclean interfered with his ability to clearly hear me in that area.
You know, you’re not doing a great job of encouraging me or anyone else to give this a listening prayer thing a try.
You’re saying I can’t be certain that I am hearing your voice because, 1. You are too big for me to hear on my own, 2. The “filter of me” (which includes other voices I have in my head—great!) interferes with or inadvertently shapes how I hear your voice, and 3. I have knowledge constraints in terms of what I know and don’t know, and related to that is 4. There are certain ideas I can’t or won’t entertain because of beliefs I hold.
So here’s my question, then: If I can't, with some certainty, confirm that the voice I am sharing with others is actually you, how can I, in good conscience, share what I think I’m hearing from you with other people?
By doing what you are doing (with my help): By being up-front with how this listening thing works and by accepting that you might indeed be hearing things incorrectly. By doing this, but still doing the prayer journaling, you are modeling how one can start to engage with me on their own.
But if there is all of this uncertainty involved, why start!?
Your frustration with what I am telling you stems from a belief that certainty is important and good. But there are important advantages to uncertainty that you are not considering.
There are important advantages to uncertainty – what advantages!?
Certainty is an incredibly dangerous concept when applied to me. For example, what if you were certain my voice was telling you should never eat pizza again?
I guess I would question your sanity. Something that tasty is most definitely heavenly, not hellish.
Or, if you were someone more faithful, you might actually choose to never taste pizza again.
"More faithful." Are you really throwing shade about my faith?
Not really. We all know pizza is your real god, Nathanael.
Aww – you do know me!
Returning to the example, if you were certain that it was my voice that you had heard (and therefore heard correctly), you would be strongly tempted to act. You would either follow my words or reject my words. This is the type of decision the concept of “certainty” introduces to listening prayer: A “are you with me or against me” type of decision.
However, if you remembered to remain uncertain about my voice when hearing me about pizza, then you might have delayed acting on what you heard. Instead, you may have asked me some follow-up questions after hearing me the first time. You might also have asked others to ask me about pizza, too, to see what they heard. And in your and your friends’ continued listening, what may have been slowly revealed was that the pizza combination of bread, cheese, grease, and meat causes your body to respond in unhealthy ways, including the risk of developing kidney stones. Not in other people's bodies, just yours, because this is just an example. And, therefore, in this example, you should stay away from pizza because doing so would improve your overall health.
I think I’d probably still eat pizza, regardless.
Yes, you probably would. But even if you did so in that situation, you are no longer defying me by thinking that I am wrong. And, you are not forced to choose between pizza and me. Instead, you are making a decision knowing the natural consequences you might face. You can understand my concern for your health and then ignore that concern because you think life with pizza and kidney stones is better than life without pizza and kidney stones.
That is true - I do think that about pizza!
And you would be allowed to think that without rejecting your relationship with me because of uncertainty. All of the questioning and learning that followed the initial understanding was available to you because you were not certain about what you were hearing. To put it another way, uncertainty allows for free choice.
Ok, I think I am starting to understand, now. I think you are saying “certainty” causes us to “hear too quickly.” Meaning, if I hear one thing from you, "certainty" tells me that the thing I heard was the gospel truth. And, if listening prayer were certain, in the example you gave, I would be very tempted to state (for myself and maybe others) that pizza is bad or that you were out-of-touch or a made-up entity. None of which is an ideal conclusion.
But if I question what I hear, eventually I would discern that everyone could eat pizza, including me, but that would be best if I, personally, didn’t eat pizza for health reasons.
Yes! That is good listening, Nathanael.
Thank you. I must express some disappointment, though. This is not the strong, attention-grabbing declaration I wanted to start with. "The maybe, probably incomplete, mostly uncertain listening prayer project” just doesn’t have a ring to it, you know?
But it does have the ring of honesty -- because this is how it works with me and this is how listening prayer works. And, if you want a catchy phrase to start with, consider "The Uncertainty Prayer Principle."
Oh...I like that! And, while it is definitely counter-intuitive to think that "uncertainty" is a main concept of listening prayer, I'm starting to see why it is a core principle.
There is another reason why uncertainty - when listening for me - is advantageous: These limitations of listening prayer mean that there is not one person who can claim to be my spokesperson. I am not proprietary knowledge. There is not a single individual who can “corner the market” on hearing my voice and be the end-all and know-all about what I have to say.
I had not thought about it that way. And you’re right – I do like that you are de-centralized, so to speak. That would mean a centralized authority would not be able to claim to be the only representative voice for you. It would also mean I shouldn’t feel responsibility as being the “only” person who is hearing you and sharing your voice.
Exactly!
So...after all of this conversation about uncertainty, should I, in fact, plan to continue this project?
I encourage you to proceed – but with the understanding that the voice you are hearing and recording is “maybe” me.
So you are saying it is alright (with room for reconsideration) for me to continue?
Yes, indeed. I look forward to our next conversation, Nathanael, should you choose to continue.
Thank you, God. I look forward to our next conversation, too.
