Hello, God.
Hello, Nathanael.
I’ve been thinking about the Obstacles to Hearing God entry and there is a certain line that I think I need to discuss.
What line?
We were talking about the "internal editor" and how it can stop us from hearing or considering your words because we want to hear your words perfectly. To address this situation, you and I suggested a process of hearing you imperfectly by “hearing you (God) uncertainly.” And then you said, “After you hear from me uncertainly, you have to listen again and again and again as a way to identify and confirm which words are from me and not from me.” That is the line I'd like to discuss.
Why?
I want to discuss how someone would “identify and confirm” your words. How do we discern your actual words and intent from what we have imperfectly heard?
That’s a good question. How do you do it?
I’m not sure my process for discerning your words is the best way for most people to try.
Let’s start with you sharing your process. Then, we can discuss other ways to discern my words.
Okay. My process is to have a conversation with myself. I’ve been "talking to myself" since I can remember. So, that is the vehicle I use to imperfectly imagine what you might have to say to me on a daily basis. I imagine what you would say in response to what I'm telling myself. But then, after that imagining, I look for what the core message from you in that conversation might be. I tend to do this by thinking about the Jesus stories from the Gospels. When looking at the essential, core parts of Jesus’ ministry, I see how he trusted you, how he advocated for you, how accessible to others he was, how he invited, how he cared for himself and others, and how he taught (mostly through stories). As I think about what I know of Jesus’ ministry from the Gospel stories, that becomes the filter I use to help me reconsider what I originally heard from you. And then, I repeat the process until there seems to be some resonance between what I’m hearing and how I understand who you are through the ministry of Jesus. I might imagine the same topic over the course of several daily prayer times during a three or four week period.
It's similar to "active listening" that I practice with other people. I'll say, "I asked about this thing. And I heard you say this thing in response. Did I hear that right? Yes? Okay I'm glad I understood you, but now I'm confused by this other thing. And, I don't understand how it fits with this second other thing." And so on. But in this case, it's in the format of written listening prayer and the things I don't understand are analogies I see in the stories about Jesus and the parables he told that don't seem to align with what I'm hearing from you.
In other words, my process relies on a lifetime of reading the Jesus stories plus a specific commitment to revisiting what I've previously written in my prayer journaling. I would not expect other people to do it this way.
Yes, you've developed a specialized approach to discerning my words when imperfectly hearing me. But, within that process, there exists a more streamlined approach that can prove useful to individuals who are getting started with their own personal listening prayer project.
That's interesting -- what is that streamlined approach?
Just like you use Jesus’ ministry to discern my words, so can others discern my words by using some “guidelines” that Jesus offered.
What guidelines to listening prayer did Jesus offer, exactly? I’m not recalling any…
He didn’t specifically mention these guidelines within the context of listening prayer, but the guidelines he did offer also apply very well to listening prayer.
I’m curious about where this is going. What are these guidelines by Jesus of which you speak?
The story begins with someone asking Jesus, “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment?” And Jesus replies, “To love your God with all your heart, mind, and strength. The second is like it, to love your neighbor as yourself.” And the person who asked the question then agrees with Jesus’ answer.
I know that story well, but I don’t understand. How is the greatest commandment a guideline to discerning your words in listening prayer?
If you are hearing something in listening prayer, a way to discern if it is from me is to consider if what you are hearing is a form of loving me with your heart, mind, or strength. And, similarly, is the thing you are hearing a form of loving your neighbor as you love yourself.
Sorry to be slow on this one, but I'm not seeing where this going. I don't get it.
“A divided house cannot stand.” If you agree that this is a true statement and agree that I would not choose to create a divided house with my words, then you would also agree that I would not share words that oppose the greatest commandment.
Oh, okay! Yeah, that makes sense. Initially, I thought you were saying the greatest commandment meant the words we’d hear from you in listening prayer would be variations of “Tell me you love me – one more time.” And, honestly, that would’ve sounded rather insecure.
The greatest commandment does not exist because I am insecure nor is the purpose of it for my benefit. The greatest commandment is for your benefit.
How is the greatest commandment a benefit for me and not for you? This is making me think that I could – and maybe others could, too – use a refresher course about the greatest commandment. Can you say what it means to love you with all of our heart, mind, and strength and why I (and others) should do it?
Yes, that is a good idea. Let’s start by thinking of your significant other, your child(ren), or your pet(s) -- someone or something that you love very much. Now think about how you do things for them because you love them. Not things that you do to prove your love to them (as in obligation), but things you do because you want to express your love.
One thing that comes to mind is celebrating a birthday – where I try to think about the things a loved one likes and cares about. Then, I offer a gift that (hopefully!) reflects those values.
That’s a wonderful example (assuming you want to get the gift and do not feel obligated to get the gift). And, it captures the essence of the greatest commandment quite well.
But why? Why is that the greatest commandment? Why is it so important that we express our love towards you?
Using your example, if you are carefully and intentionally thinking about what I care about and value, then what will you be thinking about?
I don’t think I know that answer. What do you care about, God?
You! I care about you as an individual, a people, a species, and as a very good part of my beloved creation.
Ah, right!
So, if you were choosing to daily live the greatest commandment by thinking about and then offering me a gift every day that reflected what I cared about and valued the most – what would you be thinking about and trying to give me?
Well, if I love you and if what you love the most is me, people in general, and your creation, then that means my love for you will lead me to think about how to love me, others, and your creation in the same way that you do. Does that sound right?
Yes! And, this is why Jesus says the second greatest commandment is similar to the greatest commandment. Loving your neighbor as yourself is the end result of loving me with all of your heart, mind, and strength.
Now I’m confused again. What’s the difference between the two commandments? Why can’t the second greatest commandment be the greatest commandment? Isn’t love just love?
No.
Argh! Why not?
There’s a phrase by Paul that is useful, here. He says to “have the mind of Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:16). To obtain the mind of Christ is to practice imagining, seeing, and hearing the world through my eyes and ears. When you do this, you will be better able to align your love, honor, and care so that it matches my love, honor, and care for you, your neighbors, and my creation. But, if you were to only "have the mind of your neighbor," then you would be skipping that practice of aligning your love with my love for you, others, and my creation.
I think I see what you're saying, but this seems kind of tricky to understand.
It is tricky to understand because the greatest commandment is about learning to adjust your thinking so that it is better aligned with my way of thinking. This also extends to how you love your neighbor.
So, how might we go about having “the mind of Christ” when discerning your words during listening prayer?
Good question! When seeking to clarify and discern my message to you after your uncertain and imperfect listening of me, ask yourself the following questions (based on the greatest and second-greatest commandment):
Remember the interconnectedness of the two commandments, “and the second is like the first.” Meaning, the more “yes” answers you can honestly provide to these questions, then the more likely you are clearly hearing and understanding my words.
And if the answer is “No” to most or all of these questions, what happens then?
Then keep talking to me about it. In many ways, the listening part of listening prayer is a form of editing. There was an initial message that you imagined, but the shape of it may not yet be fully known or correctly perceived. So, use these questions about love to whittle away your expectations and assumptions until you have a clearer picture of what I’m saying to you and why I’m saying it to you. To help with this process, consider inviting a prayer partner or individuals from your faith community for feedback, too. As we’ve mentioned before, one person is not meant to understand and hear all of me. It is in community that the fullness of who I am and what I’m sharing with you is best revealed.
As you talk about this, I'm noticing how cerebral this all seems. What about feelings? In resources that other people have written about prayer, a person's feelings seem to be pretty important. But neither one of us have mentioned the role of feelings, yet. How is it that we have been talking about "love" and have not referenced feelings, yet? That seems ... weird. Doesn't that seem weird?
Feelings are an important way for you to measure your experience of something. But, when considering how to better understand what I am saying to you, the focus shifts from "measuring an experience" to "implementing actions that will acheive the goal of discerning my words."
That sounded pretty corporate and souless of you. Was that an actual response to my concern about feelings not being part of prayerful discernment?
I care about your feelings. I want you to feel joy and contenment. And I want you to be able to grieve when you are sad. Furthermore, I am very willing to talk to you about whatever feelings you have about any situation or person, including feelings you might have about what you're hearing from me. If you have a strong feeling to something that you think I am saying to you, that feeling is something you should then talk to me about as you seek to discern what I am communicating. For example, right now we're talking about your concern that feelings are not being mentioned as part of discerning my words. That is a legitimate aspect of the process to better understanding me. But those feelings are not how you discern my words to you. Instead, your feelings are something that help you ask me questions about what you are hearing.
Let me repeat back to you what I think you are saying, here, God. "I hear that you, Nathanael, are worried that feelings are not being discussed as part of the discernment process. Thank you for raising that concern. Here's how to understand how feelings fit into the discernment process. They fit, but not in the way you think they should. They aren't meant to measure what I (God) am saying. However, if you (Nathanael) have emotional responses to what I (God) am saying, please share those emotional responses with me. That will allow for a deeper discussion about the topic at hand." Is that a correct understanding of what you're saying, God?
Yes, that is a great summary! And, you modeled something that is also helpful when discerning my words.
What did I do?
You repeated my words in a way that reflected how you understood my words. When you practice this form of active listening, it gives you a chance to state your understanding of my words which then gives me a chance to respond to your understanding of my words.
How might you respond if my understanding was incorrect?
I might offer an addendum to your statement or remind you that I said something else that you seem to be missing.
Since I'm the one imagining your response, that sounds like a lot of work. In fact, the more we talk about this whole discernment process, it sounds quite difficult and time-consuming.
That's because it is. But any type of meaningful communication takes time, attention, and care.
I can appreciate that. At the same time, I am concerned that the difficulty and effort required to hearing you and then discerning what was heard will dissuade people from the effort.
This is a valid concern, but keep in mind that you are writing for individuals who want to better connect with me. These entries are not meant to be persuasive arguments, but informative invitations to those who are already interested.
That’s a good point. I keep forgetting that these entries are meant to be an invitation and not an argument. Thank you for the reminder.
There’s a lot that was shared in this entry. Let’s wrap up for now and in the next entry, let’s talk about some encouraging reasons to consider when thinking about listening prayer.
Sounds like a plan, God. Thank you for talking this through with me.
Thank you for doing the same, Nathanael.
A Summary of Discerning God's Words
When imagining God's response in listening prayer, embrace the "uncertainty prayer principle" by setting aside your worries about “hearing the wrong things” and “not hearing perfectly.” Once the initial response is imagined, then use the greatest commandment and second-greatest commandment to help discern what you heard.
The greatest commandment according to Jesus is, “To love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, and strength. And the second is like it, to love your neighbor as yourself.”
The importance of loving God first, foremost, and fully is that it then informs how we love ourselves and our neighbors and God’s creation. This is another of way of describing Paul’s encouragement to “have the mind of Christ.”
One way to put on the mind of Christ and discern what you are hearing in prayer is by asking yourself the following questions (that are based on the greatest and second-greatest commandment):
When offering a "yes" answer to one of these questions, focus on understanding the "how" part of the answer, too. The more “yes” answers there are and the clearer your explanations are in the "how" section, the more likely it is that you perceiving at least some of what God is wanting to communicate to you.
Your feelings about what you are hearing is less about actual discernment and is more about the discernment process. For example, if you imperfectly hear something that you really dislike, that does not mean you misheard. Instead, that dislike becomes something to use during the discernment process by mentioning that feeling of dislike with God. For example, you could say, "God, I heard this thing from you and I want you to know I really dislike what I heard. Why would you say such a thing?" And then see what the response is.
Overall, the uncertainty prayer principle, hearing God imperfectly, and then seeking to discern what God is actually saying is a slow and (often) difficult process. But, so is any type of good communication. For those of us who want good communication with God, we should expect the process to require just as much effort as other important relationships require.
